A tall drink of water.

   Yes, I'm talking about a certain someone. And not to sound uber cliche, but call me what it may, it is definitely Christ.
  
   I had a long serious talk with my dad last month, whish was way overdue, but we talked about stuff that I was going through and the things I had been feeling that were making me feel overcome in some areas and also kind of alone. Obviously I have my family always and forever, but some of you know the "alone" i'm speaking of, an alone that is altogether different from any other alone that is used generally...and not even with Christ did I feel alone really. But I felt as if, maybe, could I possibly be alone, without a husband, for the rest of my life?? Surely I'm not called to that by God.
   But can I get to the place where I could be content if that was the case? At this point, I can honestly say.......I'm working on it. I can tell you the point I know I am in at this point though. That is, in my life right now, I am content without someone, because I am solely focused on furthering my relationship with my "tall, refreshing, drink of Water," which is my Father and Redeemer, which I will touch more on in a sec.
The thing that I have been asking myself and Him now though is, is it okay to still want that particular "aloneness" to be filled? Or am I doing something wrong? Because I am completely telling the truth when I say I am truly content right now, but what does it mean to also still have that feeling in the back of your heart. How can you be content and longing at the same time? This is the area I am still waiting for peace about.
I am sharing my heart with you all right now, so that maybe I can help someone out there that needs to be hearing it and may be asking the same thing. To me personally, I feel like my way of ministering/purpose is to share with others my life experiences and hardships so that maybe they can avoid or get through them a little easier.
So back to how my most important relationship is going... it is funny how I can go from being worried about lack of excitement and growth, to the place I am now. I'm not saying I'm doing the best I ever have been with my quiet time and such, but being back at school and having my freedom to worship to powerful songs, is rejuvenating in itself. But what is even greater is the fact that my desire for my relationship with God is returning, such as in my devotions, prayer time and church, and it feels amazing. I know what it sounds like..."its just cause you're back at Liberty so you think you feel this way cause of the atmosphere of the place", well the atmosphere does help that's for sure. But I don't take advantage of it like some people do...If anything from the past two years without a church I take in every minute that I can worship in public like here. But it is not the main reason that I feel so encouraged to commit to my relationship with Him this time....surprisingly it was one little prayer from my new RA's this year. Don't ask me why, because I couldn't even tell you what they prayed, but for some reason the way that they prayed over me alone, and the love that I felt from them was what made me feel so encouraged. God used them to show me the love I needed and to inspire me to keep puruing and keep going everyday to talk to my God. Everyday since has been a growing, learning, and touching experience that I don't want to end or take for granted.
   So a lesson that maybe I can get through to you readers...a relationship with God is not a one-sided relationship, it's not give & take. Just like any relationship, you have to commit, pursue, and give back. And also, the truth about God that I have been blinded from and ignored, is that God is always there by my side, embracing me when I feel alone & when I don't, and I've finally embraced this. Sometimes though, we just won't stop and feel Him, when all we needed to do to find His arms was to find the Silence in the Sound.

Good News, We'll Never Reach The Bottom.

   Lately I have learned so much about how to teach, by reading David Platt's, Radical. But it is not because the book is about teaching, it is because reading through this book has shown me how important it is to have our priorities right, to finally have someone who is worth losing everything for, and much I long for deepness in my walk, my growth, and my learning about God's sovereignty. I don't just mean deepness as in hearing things that are confusing or sound smart...but finally hearing the Word of God for what it is - not always what everyone wants to hear. Hearing the Gospel for what it is supposed to be - not saying a prayer that was told to you so you could have a "Get to Heaven Free Pass". Hearing the true purpose of salvation - for the glory of God and nothing else. And hearing the truth, that probably 80% of Christians don't believe, and that is the fact that the truth takes no glory away from God - God saved whom He willed, just because He could. He doesn't need a reason. None of us deserved it. The fact that God chose any of us, who were so full of sin, is in itself worthy of all the glory to God.
   One of the guys in the Bible study I go to, RUF, once said to picture it this way,

"There are 100 people in the water (who have raped, killed, etc., to my family), 20 people I saved from the water, who obviously didn't deserve it, who I choose to love and not look at their sin anymore. The 80 that are left, I'm not condemning to death, I'm just not choosing to picking them -- be thankful that I even saved the 20."

   Humans do not get it because our minds are finite and people say "that's not a fair God!" but we're saying that from a human perspective, not through God's eyes. God is God, He can and will do what He pleases; He is just and fair.
   I feel as if those who side with the idea that "man chooses or doesn't choose God" takes away from God's soveriegnty.Isn't our purpose on this earth, to give God the most glory possible, because He deserves it?? Then why do people take away His glory by giving themselves credit for salvation? We have no say, and rightly so...we don't deserve any say, but God chose us, though we didn't deserve it. To Him be the glory! And by this sovereign grace that He has poured out on us, He GETS the glory He deserves...though He deserves so much more than we can ever give Him. Time to get rid of our pride and human eyes and look through the eyes of the Lord, where you will find true Silence in the Sound.

Matthew 1: Think Again

   I know in the Bible when we get to the long list of names (so & so begot so & so) we usually just skip over it because it takes too much effort to read through it. But the genealogy that starts off Matthew 1 is one that you do not want to scan over. Look for key people in old Bible stories that you remember hearing in sunday school, such as: Abraham, Isaac, Jacob, Rahab (the prostitute), Boaz, Ruth, Jesse, King David, and King Solomon. These are all people in the lineage of Jesus. Not many people understand some of the overlooked details of the birth of Christ, and one of these is the fact that Jesus was not only Royalty in Heaven, but he was also in the line of royalty on earth; he was a descendent of King David. This is why King Herod wanted to kill Jesus, Herod knew that Jesus was called the "King of the Jews" even before Jesus was born.
   If we hear the Christmas story every year, then we will become desensitized to it after a while. We will only hear the surface story, unlike when we first heard it. When we first heard it, it was brand new, exciting, and we wanted to know more. Now we don't think that there is anything left for us to learn because we've heard it so much. There is always something new to learn from any story in the Bible though. Everytime I read over the birth of Christ (in the many books and points of view it's presented in) I find something I hadn't noticed before. Anyone who thinks that they know a story down pat...THINK AGAIN. Not only think again, but read it again, study it again, meditate on it again. It could be the simplest of stories such as Adam & Eve, or Noah's Ark...but something else is there for you to learn.
   Sometimes we get sucked into the world's view of Christmas, myself included. "It's all about the presents", the stuff, the material things, or even about the 'spirit' of Christmas found in our attitudes or giving to others...and yes, giving and a joyful spirit is important...but it is not the most important way we should view Christmas. The way we should look, is through the eyes of God. He sent His Son to be born on earth; full of sin, pain, and sorrow, and already knowing the consequences he would suffer for the purpose he was being sent for. The positive side though, is the purpose God sent Jesus, and that is that Jesus volunteered to take on a body of flesh, take on all sin at once, and get killed for it...for us. So that we could be seen blameless and live with Him for eternity!
How can we overlook the power in this story year after year?! What is Christmas to you? -- Dig deeper folks, dig deeper. Christmas can get crazy. Don't fall into the trap of the world's "Non-Christ-mas"... at this point in the year, you have to find your Silence in the Sound.
Merry CHRISTmas!