So can I just say that I've been dying to write for a few weeks now but have just now gotten the chance to. So i'm sorry for that, but it feels good to be able to write again finally.
A lot has happened. But to sum it up...God is at work, and has been in control of my life and my family's life so so much these past two years, but in particular the past month or two. My family and myself are starting a new chapter in our lives, and I am beyond stoked to have a much needed fresh start. Some may call me weird, or a loaner, or don't have many friends where I was to even care, and maybe that is the case...but I am almost the most excited about not knowing anyone where we're going. Starting completely from scratch with the people that matter to me the most, my family. We need it, critically. The most exciting thing other that that and my dad finally back in the ministry doing God's work, is the fact that I get to decorate a competely blank room....my mind goes wild.
Anywho. So recently I have been first of all blown away by God and His hand in my life, and secondly, something pretty cool happened to me that I kind of overlooked a month or so ago. I was at home and I heard something speak inside of me, whether it was my own mind or something else -- either way I believe it was God in some form. I felt the words, "You were meant for something bigger" and it kind of overwhelmed me for a moment. The reason being because most of my life I've felt small and every once and a while I sometimes unfortunately felt invisible. You may know what I'm talking about exactly. The thought of being meant for something bigger than you can imagine, especially in God's eyes, has never been a possibility in my mind. ME?! "Bigger" means so much more in God's perspective than our human minds. Well when this happened at home I thought about it for a while, and moved on.
But this past week I felt it again. I can't disregard it anymore.
What's funny is that lately most of what I think about is that I'm very torn on what I should do not only as an internship but a career. I have two options for myself, and I can't decide which to do; one involves my life dream which seems so far outta reach, or the one more in reach that I am better at and happen to enjoy a bit. But...keeping in mind what I felt God say to me, I am now open to doing neither or either. The thing about the statement, "You were meant for something bigger" is that it is vague...I am a person that likes to know things, but with this instance I have total peace and I'm not worried about it all, because I know that God does know every detail about His plan for me, and that gives me complete satisfaction like any other. I may or may not accomplish my "dream" or even my plan B, but I would give it all up for the Lord's plan if He has something different for me, because I know it will be so much better than anything I could dream of in my little mind. And with Christ I am never invisible. I think all this time I've been consumed with a trilllion of my own thoughts, not really listening....but God got my attention when He made way twice for Silence in the Sound.
What is the "silence" in the sound?
The meaning of the title of my blog "Silence in the Sound" is a challenge we all face, to search for God's presence in the midst of the chaos. When everything is moving 1000mph around us, we search for answers, but can't slow down either. If we can STOP and LISTEN for the still voice of the LORD, then things will come into perspective. Oswald Chambers says, "God's silences are His answers...Are you still asking for a visible answer?... Are you mourning before God because you have not had an audible response?" Such as in John 11:5-6, it is not our timing for His answer...it's God's timing. We have to remember Psalm 46:10, "Be still, and know that I am God." Put on your headphones and drown out the sound of the hustle & bustle of the world, and tune into God's channel.