So it may seem lame to some, but I got watching videos on youtube of people who had actually gotten a literal glimpse of Heaven and/or Hell. So many emotions ran through me on these videos. On the ones of the people who got a glimpse of Heaven and of Jesus, made me want to cry my eyes out. Not because it was a touching story, but because I could only imagine the grace felt by those being rescued from Hell. The fact that they saw Jesus face to face, even for 1 second, fills me with the most jealousy I could ever imagine. The one thing I long for most in this life is to finally see Jesus and to feel His embrace. I will never feel anything greater than the joy of looking into His eyes. The one little boy said that he sat on Jesus' lap, also that there were people there that he had never met, but that he was related to, and that there were lots of animals and people, and everyone had wings. He said that Gabriel was funny, if hearing the actual personality of THE archangel doesn't make things more real and in perspective, I don't know what does. One said the colors were brighter, and there were thousands more colors than we know of on earth. Many said that once we die we feel our soul leave our body and then are automatically in a spiritual realm and moving faster than the speed of light to where they were going. The boy who had been there said that Jesus told him that He died so that we could see His Dad.
But when they were talking about Hell, they were saying that they could see everyone around them, hear their thoughts, and know every sin they've ever committed. But their sins and actions didn't matter, all that mattered was that they rejected God, and they wanted everyone on earth to know not to come there....I was thinking through this, what are we doing?? If in Hell people are thinking this, and we're on earth not doing anything but living day to day, why aren't we the ones telling them? We're wasting the whole purpose we were put on this earth.
The thing that stood out to me the most was that they all said that when they left their bodies, it was more real than we have ever known as real. That this life is a dream compared to the spiritual realm. Guys, we're just visiting on this earth. This is not our home. It is more real there because that is where we were made for, and Who we were made to spend eternity with. I can't wait to, for the first time, feel true Silence in the Sound.
Silence in the Sound.
What is the "silence" in the sound?
The meaning of the title of my blog "Silence in the Sound" is a challenge we all face, to search for God's presence in the midst of the chaos. When everything is moving 1000mph around us, we search for answers, but can't slow down either. If we can STOP and LISTEN for the still voice of the LORD, then things will come into perspective. Oswald Chambers says, "God's silences are His answers...Are you still asking for a visible answer?... Are you mourning before God because you have not had an audible response?" Such as in John 11:5-6, it is not our timing for His answer...it's God's timing. We have to remember Psalm 46:10, "Be still, and know that I am God." Put on your headphones and drown out the sound of the hustle & bustle of the world, and tune into God's channel.
Tuesday, December 13, 2011
Thursday, October 13, 2011
Meant For Something Bigger.
So can I just say that I've been dying to write for a few weeks now but have just now gotten the chance to. So i'm sorry for that, but it feels good to be able to write again finally.
A lot has happened. But to sum it up...God is at work, and has been in control of my life and my family's life so so much these past two years, but in particular the past month or two. My family and myself are starting a new chapter in our lives, and I am beyond stoked to have a much needed fresh start. Some may call me weird, or a loaner, or don't have many friends where I was to even care, and maybe that is the case...but I am almost the most excited about not knowing anyone where we're going. Starting completely from scratch with the people that matter to me the most, my family. We need it, critically. The most exciting thing other that that and my dad finally back in the ministry doing God's work, is the fact that I get to decorate a competely blank room....my mind goes wild.
Anywho. So recently I have been first of all blown away by God and His hand in my life, and secondly, something pretty cool happened to me that I kind of overlooked a month or so ago. I was at home and I heard something speak inside of me, whether it was my own mind or something else -- either way I believe it was God in some form. I felt the words, "You were meant for something bigger" and it kind of overwhelmed me for a moment. The reason being because most of my life I've felt small and every once and a while I sometimes unfortunately felt invisible. You may know what I'm talking about exactly. The thought of being meant for something bigger than you can imagine, especially in God's eyes, has never been a possibility in my mind. ME?! "Bigger" means so much more in God's perspective than our human minds. Well when this happened at home I thought about it for a while, and moved on.
But this past week I felt it again. I can't disregard it anymore.
What's funny is that lately most of what I think about is that I'm very torn on what I should do not only as an internship but a career. I have two options for myself, and I can't decide which to do; one involves my life dream which seems so far outta reach, or the one more in reach that I am better at and happen to enjoy a bit. But...keeping in mind what I felt God say to me, I am now open to doing neither or either. The thing about the statement, "You were meant for something bigger" is that it is vague...I am a person that likes to know things, but with this instance I have total peace and I'm not worried about it all, because I know that God does know every detail about His plan for me, and that gives me complete satisfaction like any other. I may or may not accomplish my "dream" or even my plan B, but I would give it all up for the Lord's plan if He has something different for me, because I know it will be so much better than anything I could dream of in my little mind. And with Christ I am never invisible. I think all this time I've been consumed with a trilllion of my own thoughts, not really listening....but God got my attention when He made way twice for Silence in the Sound.
A lot has happened. But to sum it up...God is at work, and has been in control of my life and my family's life so so much these past two years, but in particular the past month or two. My family and myself are starting a new chapter in our lives, and I am beyond stoked to have a much needed fresh start. Some may call me weird, or a loaner, or don't have many friends where I was to even care, and maybe that is the case...but I am almost the most excited about not knowing anyone where we're going. Starting completely from scratch with the people that matter to me the most, my family. We need it, critically. The most exciting thing other that that and my dad finally back in the ministry doing God's work, is the fact that I get to decorate a competely blank room....my mind goes wild.
Anywho. So recently I have been first of all blown away by God and His hand in my life, and secondly, something pretty cool happened to me that I kind of overlooked a month or so ago. I was at home and I heard something speak inside of me, whether it was my own mind or something else -- either way I believe it was God in some form. I felt the words, "You were meant for something bigger" and it kind of overwhelmed me for a moment. The reason being because most of my life I've felt small and every once and a while I sometimes unfortunately felt invisible. You may know what I'm talking about exactly. The thought of being meant for something bigger than you can imagine, especially in God's eyes, has never been a possibility in my mind. ME?! "Bigger" means so much more in God's perspective than our human minds. Well when this happened at home I thought about it for a while, and moved on.
But this past week I felt it again. I can't disregard it anymore.
What's funny is that lately most of what I think about is that I'm very torn on what I should do not only as an internship but a career. I have two options for myself, and I can't decide which to do; one involves my life dream which seems so far outta reach, or the one more in reach that I am better at and happen to enjoy a bit. But...keeping in mind what I felt God say to me, I am now open to doing neither or either. The thing about the statement, "You were meant for something bigger" is that it is vague...I am a person that likes to know things, but with this instance I have total peace and I'm not worried about it all, because I know that God does know every detail about His plan for me, and that gives me complete satisfaction like any other. I may or may not accomplish my "dream" or even my plan B, but I would give it all up for the Lord's plan if He has something different for me, because I know it will be so much better than anything I could dream of in my little mind. And with Christ I am never invisible. I think all this time I've been consumed with a trilllion of my own thoughts, not really listening....but God got my attention when He made way twice for Silence in the Sound.
Monday, August 22, 2011
A tall drink of water.
Yes, I'm talking about a certain someone. And not to sound uber cliche, but call me what it may, it is definitely Christ.
I had a long serious talk with my dad last month, whish was way overdue, but we talked about stuff that I was going through and the things I had been feeling that were making me feel overcome in some areas and also kind of alone. Obviously I have my family always and forever, but some of you know the "alone" i'm speaking of, an alone that is altogether different from any other alone that is used generally...and not even with Christ did I feel alone really. But I felt as if, maybe, could I possibly be alone, without a husband, for the rest of my life?? Surely I'm not called to that by God.
But can I get to the place where I could be content if that was the case? At this point, I can honestly say.......I'm working on it. I can tell you the point I know I am in at this point though. That is, in my life right now, I am content without someone, because I am solely focused on furthering my relationship with my "tall, refreshing, drink of Water," which is my Father and Redeemer, which I will touch more on in a sec.
The thing that I have been asking myself and Him now though is, is it okay to still want that particular "aloneness" to be filled? Or am I doing something wrong? Because I am completely telling the truth when I say I am truly content right now, but what does it mean to also still have that feeling in the back of your heart. How can you be content and longing at the same time? This is the area I am still waiting for peace about.
I am sharing my heart with you all right now, so that maybe I can help someone out there that needs to be hearing it and may be asking the same thing. To me personally, I feel like my way of ministering/purpose is to share with others my life experiences and hardships so that maybe they can avoid or get through them a little easier.
So back to how my most important relationship is going... it is funny how I can go from being worried about lack of excitement and growth, to the place I am now. I'm not saying I'm doing the best I ever have been with my quiet time and such, but being back at school and having my freedom to worship to powerful songs, is rejuvenating in itself. But what is even greater is the fact that my desire for my relationship with God is returning, such as in my devotions, prayer time and church, and it feels amazing. I know what it sounds like..."its just cause you're back at Liberty so you think you feel this way cause of the atmosphere of the place", well the atmosphere does help that's for sure. But I don't take advantage of it like some people do...If anything from the past two years without a church I take in every minute that I can worship in public like here. But it is not the main reason that I feel so encouraged to commit to my relationship with Him this time....surprisingly it was one little prayer from my new RA's this year. Don't ask me why, because I couldn't even tell you what they prayed, but for some reason the way that they prayed over me alone, and the love that I felt from them was what made me feel so encouraged. God used them to show me the love I needed and to inspire me to keep puruing and keep going everyday to talk to my God. Everyday since has been a growing, learning, and touching experience that I don't want to end or take for granted.
So a lesson that maybe I can get through to you readers...a relationship with God is not a one-sided relationship, it's not give & take. Just like any relationship, you have to commit, pursue, and give back. And also, the truth about God that I have been blinded from and ignored, is that God is always there by my side, embracing me when I feel alone & when I don't, and I've finally embraced this. Sometimes though, we just won't stop and feel Him, when all we needed to do to find His arms was to find the Silence in the Sound.
I had a long serious talk with my dad last month, whish was way overdue, but we talked about stuff that I was going through and the things I had been feeling that were making me feel overcome in some areas and also kind of alone. Obviously I have my family always and forever, but some of you know the "alone" i'm speaking of, an alone that is altogether different from any other alone that is used generally...and not even with Christ did I feel alone really. But I felt as if, maybe, could I possibly be alone, without a husband, for the rest of my life?? Surely I'm not called to that by God.
But can I get to the place where I could be content if that was the case? At this point, I can honestly say.......I'm working on it. I can tell you the point I know I am in at this point though. That is, in my life right now, I am content without someone, because I am solely focused on furthering my relationship with my "tall, refreshing, drink of Water," which is my Father and Redeemer, which I will touch more on in a sec.
The thing that I have been asking myself and Him now though is, is it okay to still want that particular "aloneness" to be filled? Or am I doing something wrong? Because I am completely telling the truth when I say I am truly content right now, but what does it mean to also still have that feeling in the back of your heart. How can you be content and longing at the same time? This is the area I am still waiting for peace about.
I am sharing my heart with you all right now, so that maybe I can help someone out there that needs to be hearing it and may be asking the same thing. To me personally, I feel like my way of ministering/purpose is to share with others my life experiences and hardships so that maybe they can avoid or get through them a little easier.
So back to how my most important relationship is going... it is funny how I can go from being worried about lack of excitement and growth, to the place I am now. I'm not saying I'm doing the best I ever have been with my quiet time and such, but being back at school and having my freedom to worship to powerful songs, is rejuvenating in itself. But what is even greater is the fact that my desire for my relationship with God is returning, such as in my devotions, prayer time and church, and it feels amazing. I know what it sounds like..."its just cause you're back at Liberty so you think you feel this way cause of the atmosphere of the place", well the atmosphere does help that's for sure. But I don't take advantage of it like some people do...If anything from the past two years without a church I take in every minute that I can worship in public like here. But it is not the main reason that I feel so encouraged to commit to my relationship with Him this time....surprisingly it was one little prayer from my new RA's this year. Don't ask me why, because I couldn't even tell you what they prayed, but for some reason the way that they prayed over me alone, and the love that I felt from them was what made me feel so encouraged. God used them to show me the love I needed and to inspire me to keep puruing and keep going everyday to talk to my God. Everyday since has been a growing, learning, and touching experience that I don't want to end or take for granted.
So a lesson that maybe I can get through to you readers...a relationship with God is not a one-sided relationship, it's not give & take. Just like any relationship, you have to commit, pursue, and give back. And also, the truth about God that I have been blinded from and ignored, is that God is always there by my side, embracing me when I feel alone & when I don't, and I've finally embraced this. Sometimes though, we just won't stop and feel Him, when all we needed to do to find His arms was to find the Silence in the Sound.
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